You Amuse Me Lad

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You Amuse Me, Lad


When I stand on my head, saliva goes in my nose.
Get off my bed. You’re hotting me.
Why do they call it a crew cut when you’re only one person?
These taste like animal pee.

When I’m embarrassed I feel like I’m getting smaller.
Want some finger chocolate?
I have no teeth but lots of money.
Don’t pull my leg out of my butt-socket.

I need a thumb-suck and a cloth, please!
We’re not what we want to be, we are what we are.
Is it ok if I stop crying now?
Would you put gel in my hair so it looks like fire?

          You amuse me, lad!
          What’s your name? (Cody)
          You make me happy!
          How do you do that? (I don’t know)

Putting my toe in my mouth and hopping is really hard!
This is for doing, not just for hearing.
Don’t use the fat side of the comb – it looks like they’re planting seeds in my head.
This tastes like nothing.

Don’t read to me. I’m too snorable.
My sister hates me. Good thing I’m not marrying her.
Stand short so I can hug you.
I have a piece of trouble in here!

          You amuse me, lad!
          What’s your name? (Cody)
          You make me happy!
          How do you do that? (I don’t know)

You make me happy . . .